Children often blame themselves for their parents getting a divorce, and this self-blame can leave a scar on a child’s psyche; a scar that they can carry with them into adulthood. According to the Child Mind Institute, children tend to blame themselves for the divorce when they are younger since younger children are usually more egocentric. If you are getting a divorce and are worried about how your children may handle the news, consulting with an experienced divorce attorney can give you the resources and information you need to help your children cope more effectively.
Considerations for Helping your Children During this Time
It is best to be as straightforward as possible when discussing divorce with your children. Try to avoid over-explaining things and instead discuss plainly what exactly is happening without sharing inappropriate details about the conflict or the relationship’s breakdown. It is best if both parents are there when these discussions occur. During this crucial time, emphasize that you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse love them very much and will continue to be a large part of their lives.
It can also be helpful to put up a calendar for the children to see when they will spend time with each parent. This visual indicator of when they will be with either parent can reassure children that they will indeed be able to spend time with both parents.
It is essential that children feel free to express and share their emotions. Try to maintain an open dialogue about what is going on. Once you have had the initial conversation where you inform your children that you and your spouse are getting divorced, make sure that your children know that the conversation can be ongoing and that if they have any questions, feel free to ask. Maintaining open lines of communication can help reassure your child that you care about their feelings.
Try your best to provide lots of notice to your children before a parent moves out. It can also be helpful for the children to see where the other parent will be living and where they will be staying when they visit that parent. The children may even bring some things to where their mom or dad will live to feel more at home in that new environment.
Contact a Dallas Divorce Attorney
When selecting your divorce attorney, choose an attorney with ample experience dealing with divorcing spouses with children. The compassionate Dallas divorce lawyers with Clark Law Group can help you and your children as you navigate your new familial situation. Call 469-906-2266 for a complete consultation.
Sources: https://childmind.org/article/supporting-kids-during-a-divorce & https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-raise-happy-cooperative-child/201302/8-strategies-helping-kids-adjust-divorce